Me and my mentor: My mentor challenged me and gave me the push I needed.
19. January, 2024
After spending 17 years in the financial world and two years on the high seas, Anne Bonde Kvorning had gained enough momentum to actively work on her career to find her dream job. Anne had long harboured a desire for a career change but needed a professional push in the right direction. Together with her mentor Michael Jensen, she began her personal development journey, a journey that would lead her straight back to the financial world and to her dream job.
Solid, robust, open, and honest were the qualities Anne Bonde Kvorning was looking for in her future mentor, and according to Michael Jensen, openness and honesty are essential for a fruitful mentor/mentee relationship.
When Anne first met her mentor Michael, she knew nothing about him other than his name. But according to both, it was liberating that they did not know each other beforehand. They both believe it is fun to be matched with someone they would not have found themselves, as it provides a different kind of safe space and adds new perspectives.
My mentor ignited a new dream in me.
According to Anne, she had a feeling that there was something she had missed throughout all of her working life, and when she took a career test as part of the mentoring programme, she realized what she was missing. The test recommended that she should either become self-employed or find a workplace with lots of freedom and autonomy.
Therefore, Michael asked Anne to describe what she wanted in her next job. When Anne came to their next meeting and shared what she wanted, she was told that it needed reconsideration.
"Anne is an ambitious woman, and we just needed to bring that out again. I was not satisfied with what she brought. I knew enough about Anne at that time to feel that there was a completely different drive we needed to bring out," says Michael Jensen.
To outsiders, it may seem harsh, but according to Anne, deep down she realized that she wanted more, but she dared not believe in herself. She knew she had to go through a process but needed someone to help her through it.
"I think Michael is the first person who has ever challenged me in that way and said that it's not good enough. There was honesty and confidentiality from the first meeting, where we could say what needed to be said," says Anne Bonde Kvorning.
Their conversations covered a wide range of topics, and both personal and professional challenges were discussed. In the beginning, according to Anne, it was a bit daunting to talk with a complete stranger about such personal topics, and as Anne points out - "we didn't just make small talk."
Mentors need the courage to show their own vulnerability.
For Michael, it is an important quality as a mentor to step into character and set the agenda. Not only in terms of being able to challenge the mentee but also in terms of honesty and openness. As a mentor, he will always tell his story and clarify the level of honesty and openness he wishes to uphold. According to Michael, it is crucial that the mentee understands who the mentor is. This is also one of the things he realized through his mentor training with KMP+ House of Mentoring, i.e. that a mentor has many roles, and therefore it is the whole person, Michael, with all that entails, who engages in the process.
"It is my experience that the mentee calms down when the mentor opens up. It is the kind of ping pong that works. Of course, I knew what Anne valued in a mentor. But it was important for me to substantiate where it came from. The more you give of yourself as a mentor, the more you also get back," says Michael Jensen.
According to Anne, she appreciated this quality in Michael, and it made it natural for her to open up, even for the difficult conversations. Michael follows up by saying that after the mentor has taken the first step and shown openness and honesty, the ball is in the mentee's court. Therefore, he always encourages the mentee to be as open and honest as possible, as it will place the mentor in a better position to help.
The grass is not always greener on the other side.
After completing the mentoring programme, a series of bumps along the way, and jobs outside the financial world, Anne today feels " like a hand in a glove." She now has a job that includes all the things she dreamed of, and it is in the financial sector, a sector she did not think was right for her. When she looks back at what she wrote about her dream job at the beginning of the mentoring, they are all words that describe her current job: project-oriented work, influence, autonomy, knowledge, and specialization.
According to Anne, the only thing she regrets about the mentoring programme is that she did not do it sooner. She always had big dreams, but through the mentoring, she learned to dare to pursue them. She recommends everyone considering finding a mentor to go out and find one sooner rather than later. However, she also points out: “It is important to be willing to invest 100% of oneself in the mentoring collaboration for a successful outcome”.
"Make up your mind and go into it wholeheartedly. Invest both yourself and your time. Engage in the tasks set and go into it with an open mind. Contribute and dare to go deep, even where it becomes uncomfortable," says Anne Bonde Kvorning.
Today, the formal mentoring relationship is over, and there are no more meetings in the calendar, but according to Anne and Michael, they have built such a strong relationship that they still keep in touch.
